This is my life

I'm really not the whiney type. I tend to keep things inside until I can't hold it in anymore. Then I have a horrid case of word vomit all over some unsuspecting person. That generally results in my poor victim running scared, never to be seen or heard from again. Not unlike a one night stand. Except at least with a one night stand there is a chance of pleasure!

So, I try to keep quiet. It doesn't work, though. I end up eating in order to keep from talking. And from the amount of food I eat, I obviously have a lot to say.

I don't know what I want out of this. A place to vent? A place to escape? A place where I can talk about my life where my husband won't find it because he's basically computer illiterate?

I don't know. As much as I want to bitch about the shambles of my life, I'm afraid to go there. I'm afraid to admit how bad things really are. I know there are so many other women out the just like me. I wish I was strong enough to do what I need to do. But I'm just not yet. I have too much guilt and too little self-respect. I keep telling myself I'll get there one day but I think I'm lying to myself.

I'm trying very hard right now to NOT make cookies. It's difficult.