Last night's dinner of champions consisted of chocolate chocolate chip cookie dough and super chunky peanut butter. It was very good, although I did feel like a bloated whale when I was done. Come to think of it, I still kinda feel that way.
Followed by yet another night of sleep deprivation.
I'm really hating life right now. I feel so blah and apathetic. I just don't care anymore. Okay, that's a lie. I care that I don't care. I worry that I don't care. I'm worried about next week. I'm leaving him alone for four days. I'm having trouble scheduling his MRIs any sooner than that and he'll have to find his own way there. If he doesn't drive himself, I don't know what he's going to do. I know he won't call a cab. I guess there's the option of me not going, but this has been planned for months. The tickets are paid for and non-refundable. I haven't seen them in years. YEARS!!! Gah! I hate this. Really truly hate this.
What if my being gone is the last push he needs to actually go through with his threats? What if I come home to find him gone? How do I live with myself? This is almost too much to bear right now.
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